I know.. Ames got kicked off the Bachelorette last week, not this week... but I'm still not over him, okay? Just give me a little more time! sheesh! :)
Two weekends ago, I went to Jackson Hole on a big singles trip, and most of the people on this little vacay were in their late-twenties or early-thirties. Let me just say this: We spent a significant amount of time being cynical at our current lot in life. We reviewed the long list of cliche's that we all fall under, and the list of "I'm tired of..." At the end of the day, I didn't learn anything new about why any of us are really single. I keep thinking to myself, am I making this harder than it should be?
So then Monday rolls around, and I just cant wait to turn on my guilty pleasure: "The Bachelorette" of course, and I think to myself. How is it, that I have decided to stop living my own life, and watch someone else live theirs? How is that going to EVER bring me satisfaction or happiness? The short answer is, it wont, which has confirmed the decision I made several weeks ago to pay the piper, and get this weight gone. It's holding me back.
For a long time, I've used the excuse that fat people get married too, but I know that in my heart of hearts, I don't want a fat life, I want a healthy life, with a healthy person! Duh Casey! You can't expect a healthy person to just come right up and be like, "oh, I don't value health at all, will you marry me?"I think I've also figured out why I let it linger for the length of my twenties: I'm a little afriad (and by a little, I mean a lot) that if I lose the weight, and still no one can love me than it means the problem is actually on the inside... which is SO much harder to fix! What if I do all this, and I'm still not loveable?? It's risky business I tell you, but I think I'm ready to find out. By Golly, what's happening to me? I told you, I am broken down to the bare bones of me, and therefore humble for the molding, I guess.
So I've been into my groove now for just over a week, and so far I'm four pounds down! Go me! :)
