March 8th was International Women’s Day.
I saw on an article that day
circulating on social media, about the influential women of the world, which
included a list of people like Oprah Winfrey, Ellen DeGeneres, Bethany
Hamilton, etc. At the time, I didn’t
give it much thought. To be honest, I
didn’t even know there was a Women’s Day. Is there a Men’s day too?
Today, March 10, 2013, as I was
sitting in Relief Society listening to a lesson about Divine Destiny, I thought
back to that article, and became overwhelmed with gratitude for the women in MY
world, who have helped shape the person I am today. I think of the stalwart women-leaders in the
church, like Marjorie Pay Hinckley, who’s countenance had a Christ-like glow,
and who was known for her grateful attitude and cheerful disposition. I think of Shari Dew, who is such a strong
example of being an intelligent, spiritual and hard working person. She taught me the importance of cheerful perseverance;
even when the path you’re on is not the plan you would have chosen for
yourself. I have come to relate to and
need that counsel in my adult life, more than I ever would have expected back when
I was a young woman taking in her magnificent influence. I think of Margaret
Nadauld whom I remember being in the same ward with as a young child. When she got called to serve as the General
Young Women’s President several years later after their family had moved away,
our family was giddy with joy for her new calling, knowing that she had raised
eight (was it?) decent and handsome sons. She taught that the world needs more
kind, genuine, humble, classy, gentle, nurturing, and strong woman today,
instead of the more prevalent alternative.
As I zero in now, I think of people
in my own world and my mind naturally flows to my years in the Young Women’s
Program. I think of such leaders like
Teri Zenger, Ruth Ann Stagg, Dionne Halverson, Lana Lamb, and Brenda Gardiner..
These women would help form and shape my testimony in too many ways to convey
in one short essay. Suffice it to say
though, that they provided settings for some of the most spiritual experiences
in my life. If time would permit, I
would be able to speak of a memory (or ten) for each of the women (and there
were many) who dedicated that time of their life to serving the young women of
the Shadow Ridge Ward. I express my
appreciation for them all. There was one
in particular when I was a young beehive, who stayed for such a short time that
I can’t even remember her name. But I remember that she was a returned
missionary. And I remember her testimony
was so powerful, and her knowledge of the gospel impressed me so much. Even at
that young age, I watched her, and felt
a stirring my very core that I wanted to be empowered with knowledge of the
eternal things, and a strong testimony of the Gospel, and my thirst began.
I think of women in my adult life
like Kathleen Boswell, Cricket Parry, and Nanon Record, who seemed to be placed
in my path at specifically difficult times for very direct reasons. And then there’s my first mentor at work,
Sally Jones, who so often reminded me of my mother at a time when I was still
learning how to live without her. I’m so appreciative of the love and support I
receive from these women, and oh how I needed it! Their timely friendship was so relevant to my
current circumstances and I count myself blessed to know them. Besides the
women above, I am literally surrounded on all fronts by strong, capable,
compassionate, happy, successful women at work every day on the Pediatrics
unit. These nurses, social workers, and
child life specialists, have taught me anything and everything I care to know
about children, and they exemplify every day what it is to have “a mother
heart.” I am blessed to call them
friends.
Speaking of friendship, I feel that
I have the greatest, truest friends a girl could ever ask for. My bestie of nearly 20 years Kristi (Jackson)
Hyde, is a true friend in every sense of the word. I think it’s safe to say
that no matter where time takes us, or what distractions come up, we will
always have a safe place in our heart for the other to rest. As you all likely know, when one spends
decades of moments with another, all those moments add up to one big blur. In
this case that blur is just… goodness and love, and comfort. My friendship with Kristi is all those things
for me. I have another life-long friend,
Anna (Hansen) Covington, who was born of such kind and good parents. Anna is everything I want to be. She is
loyal, supportive, healthy, loving, hard working, strong, humble, intelligent, and
the list goes on. She is such a good person. She teaches me that we do and be good because
it’s the right thing to do, not because of some reward we are creating for
ourselves in heaven. There was a time in
my early 20’s when we almost lost her, and I remember the panic I felt..
“NO!!!! I thought!! Don’t take her, NOT HER!!!” I’m so thankful that it wasn’t
her time.
Of course I can’t mention friends
without coming upon the dearest friend of my adult hood, Emily Ulrich. She is my confidant, and she is one of few
women who know all of me; the good, the bad, the ugly. And she loves me in spite of all that. She is so strong in the Gospel
and she is such an example to me of being good, and I think that we both
benefit from the different perspective we provide for each other. I think that Gods timing for our friendship
was so exactly perfect that it is one more testament of His reality. In Emily's friendship, I have had someone who shares
and understands my point of view on these specific challenges of extended
single-hood.
Besides
these lifelong few aforementioned, I have been blessed to come across many MANY
friends at different times of my life. From childhood, all through now, I have
had friends and roommates (both past and present) that have come into my life
for a period of time, and have left an impression that added to the sum of
whatever I am today. Amy, Jeannette, Aimee, Amber, Hollie, Tara, Cherina, Carly, Erica... there are too many to name them all... but I read a quote
along time ago that has always stayed with me: “Some people come into our lives
and quickly go. Some stay for a while, and leave footprints on our hearts and
we are never, ever the same.” If you’re
reading this, and we have crossed paths in friendship at some point in life, (you
know who you are) I need you to know that I carry you all in my heart with
gratitude for whatever space of time we’ve shared together.
Even in the mission field, (a place
that is permeated with men,) was I blessed with some pivotal women who made the
experience all the more tender for me. We can start with my trainer Shari
(Kelsch) Bailey, who is beautiful, hard working, and hilariously funny. She was known by all to be just gorgeous, but
her heart was every bit as worthy of our praise. Her favorite song was “Where
Love is,” and she exemplified love in a grand way. Through Shari, I was reminded
that God knows me personally, and hears my prayers, because I had some very
specific (maybe they were silly but they were so real to me at the time)
requests and concerns upon entering the mission.
Next there is Diana (Carter)
Rosenthal… a soul sister of mine. She and I have very little in common. We
think differently, we like different things, and yet, one thing we both had was
a clear understanding of why we were there, and Who we were doing it for. Diana taught me that "Heavenly Father is the
Gardener here;" that my plans are not always His plans, but His wisdom is sure. Diana
was there the day I found out my Mom’s cancer was terminal, and she was there
for everything else that followed that difficult test in my mission. For that I
will EVER be connected to her and grateful for her love and support in what was
surely the Abrahamic experience of my young life.
There were women in the different
areas too who I formed a bond with that is eternal.: Barbara Stifel, Shawna
Marshall, Marcie Murphy, Ruthie Smith, etc. These women, my fellow sisters in Kingdom of God
on earth, are examples of the kind of woman I want to be: Giving of my time and talents, loving the
Lord, willing to serve his children, and
possessing a mother heart. (There it is again… remember that talk? If not, look
it up, it’s a goodie!) These women had mother-hearts!
Finally I arrive to the women of my own family. I am the
youngest of six children: Four girls and two boys. My oldest sister Pam, despite the extremely
difficult circumstances of her adult life, teaches me to carry on. Even when it’s so hard you don’t think you
can. Even when you cant see a light at the end of the tunnel. We just carry on
because it’s simply the right thing to do.
My sister Kelly continuously teaches me about grace through her simple example. She lives her testimony quietly and carefully and she has touched my life many times by a kind word or deed that was much needed. But what I learn from her more than anything was that you can accomplish many miracles when you pay attention to the Spirit. Her daughters are learning this too. I know this because the other day I witnessed Mikaela show that same compassion and willingness to comfort one whom stood in need, based on an impression that she received.
Laura, for a very long time was my
only sister in law. She has chosen to be
a stay at home Mom in world that is constantly spewing out nonsense about “put
yourself first, then give to others!” She
is an example to me of a woman who understands her divine role, and she lives
it. She is an exceptional mother to five
beautiful children; four of them are girls who will grow up to be beautiful
women themselves someday because she is teaching them that they are daughters
of God.
Next is my beautiful sister Kristy
who I don’t talk with very often because she lives in New York, and we both
have a healthy disdain for the telephone. She sends me things every so often
just to let me know she is thinking of me, and when she visits, I always think:
I want to be in her presence forever. She is my biggest cheerleader in life and I
like to think that I am hers too. Kristy
teaches me that not everyone thinks like me, and that valuing the different
experiences and viewpoints of others who lead a different path is as important as
any principal of the gospel I’ve ever been taught.
We’ve added a new mother-heart to
our family this year: my sister in law Jazzi.
I love her for loving my brother.
You know how Margaret Nadauld said we needed more kind, classy, humble,
etc. etc. women? Jazzi is all of those
things. Well done, Chad.
Josette, my step-mother, came into our lives
almost seven years ago. She makes my Dad so happy in this late season of his
life. She has never been anything but
kind and loving and accepting of me. She
has faith in me, and she tells me and shows me that faith often. I love her for that, and I am learning to
have faith in myself through her. And oh how she loves my father! About two years ago, Heavenly Father blessed
me with some perspective to see the Lords hand in linking our family with hers,
and I’ve been grateful ever since.
Then there is my Mom’s only sister,
Aunt Sue, who I don’t get to see very often. Ever since my Mom passed away
however, when I do see her I want to run to her, and hug her and never let go.
She is the one thing on this earth that makes me feel the nearest to being in
my mom’s presence. Strange how that
works huh? Even though she is so
different from my mom in a lot of ways. She was so helpful to our family during
the passing of my Mom. She was there
through it all. I remember coming home for that week while on my mission to the
heaviest form of sadness and gloom I had ever felt in my life. One day, to pull us from that abyss, she
personally gave Kelly and I a full facial. It was the cutest thing, and it
really did relax us, and help us forget our woes for a short time. That small act of service, I will never
forget.
Of course I could not talk about
women without talking about my own mother, Collene Davis. My mother’s influence
is significant, and ever present, as are all Mothers to their children, I
suppose. Even just today when we sang
the opening hymn in sacrament “You Can Make
the Pathway Bright,” my first thought was: My
mother loved this song. And in that
moment I thought it was her way of telling me, Happy birthday my daughter. I love you!
So because I wasn’t ready to be done thinking about her, I requested
that we sing the other hymn hat we both love “Scatter Sunshine..” in Relief
Society. I have never requested a song
before.
As I sit here in this moment,
reflecting on all of the countless influence I have had and realizing I’ve
likely gone on far too long to keep anyone’s interest but my own, it occurs to
me. The lesson that it took me nearly nine years to understand, and the reason
I was impressed this morning to sit down and write about the women I love in
this world: Heavenly Father has blessed me with all of these women BECAUSE he
knew that my time with my own mother would be limited. He also knew that I would spend a larger
portion (than most) of my adult life alone,
and that I wouldn’t be a mother myself, for a while. Therefore, all of these women, whom I love and
whom love me, they ARE my Mother.. You
see, collectively YOU ALL represent Collene Davis’ mother-heart. And through you, I am given all of the things
that she would have me learn, and do, and be, and carry with me to the day when
I get to see her again.
So that’s it. Happy International Women’s Day (a little bit late, but that’s how I
roll.) J
